


A Reason To Live

by BlueSapphireRose07



Series: Rebirth [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Depression, F/M, Flashbacks, I may be retarded..., Love Triangle, Self Harm, University Life, suicidal attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:09:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSapphireRose07/pseuds/BlueSapphireRose07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They did die deaths that were tragic, under the hands of these giants. They did witness bloodshed, and they too have started it. But right now, they were given a second chance to take back what was lost...</p><p> </p><p>----</p><p>Ratings changed to mature for because of the next part of the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much my first post in Ao3, since someone suggested me to create an account here and post some of my fan fictions.  
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.
> 
> I will apologize if there are parts filled with dialogs...
> 
> (P.S. I don't know what their blood types are, but even so, please do bear with me XD It's the alternate universe anyways xD)
> 
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_The forest… I remember myself zoning into it as I was looking for my squadron. Unfortunately, none of them survived. They all died a gruesome death… it was a horrifying sight. I tried to hide the terrorized expression I wore, as I fight a battle between a female looking giant… and after all that…_

_All I simply thought about was her…_

_It all looked like a mere dream… but it seemed too real…_

An alarm rang, and it was a cold autumn morning. Of course, winter was coming near, so therefore it was becoming cold. A young man sat up from that dream, a bit flabbergasted. 4 am… the exact time the alarm rang, yet he tried to recollect what happened in his dream. He felt like he  _lived_  in that horrendous nightmare.

“That… dream… what the hell…” As soon as he recollects the events of the dream, of course, all he can remember was the image of a girl with sunset tainted hair, beautiful… and blood stained… her eyes already became lifeless as he stared into it in his dream… the young man tried to forget what it was about. He never wanted to see this kind of scene again. All he remembered in the ending scene was that it seemed that he had no more weapon to fight, he was weak, blood-stained, he also had his life hanging on a thread due to too much blood lost. Around him were monsters, monsters who were ready to devour him… “Shit…”

As soon as he wanted to stand up, still in his trousers, the telephone suddenly rang.

“Heh… early in the morning huh?” He picked up to answer it after a few repeats of the ringing tone. “Hello?”

_“Hey, I’m in France right now and I just wanted you to know about something…”_  it was the friend of his parents who took him in while he stayed away from France. But there was something wrong in his voice. It was field with grief. As of now, he was in France, to pay them a visit… though something feels off in his voice.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. The man on the other end of the phone wasn’t answering. All he can hear was panting, and a cracked tone of voice. “Hey, what the hell’s wrong with you? I’m not joking around here. I’m not answering this damn call to play games with you.” The young man was nervous. What happened? Why was the person on the other end suddenly weeping?

“Hey, why the fuck aren’t you answering??” He was already getting pissed off.

_“Your parents died in a car accident. I received the news just this morning, and I don’t know how to address this to you. I… I’m sorry…”_  The young man just dropped the receiver he was holding, stone stiff as he was standing, cannot believe what he has heard on the other end. He heard the other man calling his name from the other end, but it wasn’t that loud enough.

“Shit… shit…” He kept on repeating the statement. He loved his parents so much, but then, the fact that they died in a car accident was still a bitter pill to swallow. He wanted to cry, but he can’t. He stepped back, and lied down in his bed again.

He stayed there for hours, did not bother to go to class. He just wanted to break down, and die. What would he live for?

Hours passed, he just stared at the ceiling. No tears fell, the telephone continued to ring, but he did not answer that. All he wanted was to stay silent, and sleep… forever.

Five days passed by, the young man started cutting his own wrists again, hoping for a possibility that he’d die. There are some scars of the past that still stayed there. But that didn’t matter to him. He was a bullied child in his childhood. All the kids made fun of him, but in order to suppress his anger, this is what he can only do. He can’t actually afford to hurt mindless idiots in the past, until such time they were too much, snapping a certain part of his mind giving him the urge to fight. He needed to fight them that time, and due to that, he had beaten up a few of these people, turning him into a heartless ‘thug’ some students called him in the past. He stopped after graduating high school, hoping for a better life. He did expect it that way, not until the incident of his parent’s death. Prior to the incident, He did not come to school for five days already. Surely, his class card has been dropped already because of his absences. Who cares? Nobody knows what he was going through… he thought.

 

_That was exactly when I wanted to break down and kill myself, after finding out my parents died in an accident. And I obviously started to mutilate myself again. That’s the only way I can suppress my pain. In the past, I’ve done this when I was in an emotional breakdown when I was 17. This usually happened when I was pissed off. I actually stopped, when a family friend, convinced me, with his cousin that it couldn’t change anything. I live with them right now. And they were the last people, who received the news before me. Of course, the issue right now is totally different from the past. It was my parents. My only family. Wounds have healed, but the scars stay. That’s what I learned when hurting myself. Basically, the scars are still fresh. Very fresh. Adding this incident, it’s much more painful compared to what I’ve been through in the past. Still, there is something much more painful than this… and I don’t know what it is though…_

 

The young man decided to go out, and as he did, the dead leaves fall from the trees, signifying the come winter. Of course, the young man strolled in the park. He was absolutely lonely, but he doesn’t care at all. He has friends he trusts, but he doesn’t want to linger with them. The sweet orange façade and the blue-purple hues in the sky blended together in a magnificent tone. He also wore a gray scarf. He cupped his hand into his pocket, and felt a lighter. “Oh…” He uttered. “What’s this doing here?” He asked himself. Of course, he just held it in his hand and continued walking. As if he cared why it was there.

 “Tsk…” He mumbled. As soon as he was walking, he bowed his head down. He was walking towards a bridge after getting out of the park, and then looked by the depth of the water. It was good enough. It was simply good enough for him to jump in without any second thoughts. He stared at it, but suddenly someone bumped him from behind, causing him, and the person who bumped him manage to let them fall down, not out of the bridge, but within the barricades. He was supposed to get angry, when suddenly; he turned to see who bumped him. As he did, he was simply surprised.

 “I—I’m sorry!! Please… forgive me!!!” A young girl with sunset tainted hair, and bright brown hues looked up to him. She wore a thick coat, and a bright red scarf. All the objects she was carrying fell down to the ground.

 

_That day, there was this girl who bumped me accidentally, making me lose all focus on suicidal attempt. I stared at her in that moment; her strawberry blonde hair magnificently complemented the season. Her eyes too were the same. Taupe-shaded eyes, fair skin, the colors she bore, definitely harmonized with the colors of the environment that surrounded me. And she looks so fucking familiar for some reason..._

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” She apologized to the young man.

The young man sighed. “It’s okay… I’m not mad or anything miss…” Of course, he wasn’t, and he doesn't intend to since she's a girl. A girl as tall as he is.

She was picking up her things from the ground, and it seems that she was in a hurry. She didn’t care what she picked up, as long as it was an object, she took it. She was in a hurry. Obviously.

“Let me help you.” The young man simply assisted her, and saw a familiar book on the ground. He was about to pick it up, but then at the same time, both the young woman and the young man touched the book at the same time, with his hand on top of hers. The young woman immediately pulls her hand away and looked towards another direction and stood up.

The young man stood up as well, as he dusted off his clothing. He was holding the book in his hand and then handed it to her. “Tell me; are you a student from the Rose Institute?”

She nodded. “Y—yes I am.” She said quite shyly and received the book.

“I see… I’m from there too.”

“You really look familiar…Aah!! Now I know!!” She smiled at him. “Anyway, I’m Petra Ral. I assume that you are the feared student, Levi?”

“The feared Levi?” He let out a sarcastic chuckle. “That’s a ridiculous nickname to call me.” He nodded. “Tch.” He snapped his tongue. “Who the hell created that alias??”

“Hahaha blame those who made those rumors.” She laughed as she stated it.

“It’s nice to meet you Petra. Anyway, I assume you are Italian?” He asked her.

Petra nodded. “Yes. I’m Italian.”

“I see then. Goodbye.” He was about to walk away, but she called him. That stopped him in his tracks.

“I’m from the same college as you are. Criminology.” She gave him an assuring smile, which made Levi stare at it longer than he should. He never looked at a person that way. He was too cold for everything.

“I see. Good to hear.” He said in a stoic manner. He knew that he should continue his business, maybe at home, slit his own wrists or hang himself… oh yes... he wanted to die so badly. Though, he can't show this girl in front of him that he wanted to do so.

“If I’ll see you, I’m sitting beside you tomorrow. I want to know you more.” She stated.  “People say, that you are scary. But based on what you showed right now, I think you aren’t.” she laughed a bit, cutting off Levi’s focus on dying.

Of course, Levi was a bit confused. “Know me more? I think you should keep away from that. And I doubt I'll be going to school tomorrow.” It's because he will die already, he thought. It's simply useless...

“No. I just want to be friends with you. That’s all.” She smiled peacefully towards him. “I can say that you really are a kind person.”

Levi simply scoffed at her. “Friends? I don’t think we’ll work that way. The both of us, will only know each other as strangers. And please, me, kind? That’s so pathetic…” He turned his back, and did not want to see her reaction. Obviously, he was sure that it pierced her, and he was also assured that she won’t bug him as he made the suicidal attempt.

“A lone wolf… huh?” She uttered. “Anyway… we’ll see by tomorrow then. Thank you, once again!” She turned her back and went off. Levi simply stared at her as she walked away, until he decided to get on. He walked so fast, that he didn’t care about his surroundings. He heard someone call his name, but who cares. He ignored it and simply moved on, going home.  _He had to end all of this now._

As he reached his apartment, he immediately locked the door and then went to the kitchen. He was looking for something so damn sharp, enough to make him lose blood in one strike. He looked into the drawers, it were all bread knives. Before that, he looked for the lighter in his pocket, and was surprised that it wasn’t there. Where could he have left it? Why was he searching for it when he needed to kill himself now? Who cares about that now? "Tch... Levi, stop poking around your attention on stupid things." He muttered. If he was lucky enough to find a gun, then good, he thought to himself again and he doubts that there is. Obviously he was underage to carry a gun, and the family friend isn't licensed to carry one. Even so, he continued looking. He searched for something that can immediately kill him; making him feel no pain at all. He just wanted to disappear. He was upset that he did not fall from the bridge earlier, but still… maybe that was good since if he fell there, someone must’ve attempted to save him.

He looked into the last drawer, and then cupped something sharp that wounded his finger. As he recklessly pulled the object out, it was a cutting knife. It had a few traces of blood, since he pulled it out recklessly. Either way, he didn’t care. It was a very large and deep knife. Surely sharp enough to kill himself. His back leaned against the wall, as he sighed for relief. Finally, he thought.

Levi simply placed the cold edge of the knife on his throat, already prepared to slit himself. He pulled it away again, breathed a bit heavily. Of course he was nervous because of what he might feel when he does this. But he doesn’t care. It would only last for a minute, right? It would only last for one minute, until there’s no more blood left to get out of the wound, until body systems won’t function anymore, until he’s lost sight and hearing, and of course, for his heart to stop beating. It would only last for a minute, and he hopes it will.

“Well, that’s it for me then…” He stated as he laughed a bit sarcastically as he spun the knife playfully. He stopped playing with it then stared at it. As he did, he finally placed the pointed edge of the knife, and pierced it on the side of his neck. It was  _painful._  Yes… but he still continued the attempt and dragged the blade horizontally, slitting his throat. He dropped his knife as he felt blood running out of the injury. His eyesight blackened, and he involuntarily bowed his head down, with his jaw dropped, leaving his mouth slightly opened. He can’t breathe properly anymore, he can’t see, but he can hear. He heard footsteps running towards him, and was calling his name.

_“LEVI!!”_  The voice called. It’s surprising that it belonged to a female. But he can’t move, he can’t tell that person to get away from him and leave him die. He was numb, paralyzed, stiff…  _half alive._ He also felt the person take him in their arms.  _So warm…_  he thought. He heard the girl screaming, but he did not care and Levi completely closed his eyes. Later on, he felt himself worn-out, but he felt like he didn’t have any kind of injury at all. He felt no pain at all. His neck seemed normal, and he can breathe properly. He decided to open his eyes and he is surprised that he is stated in an old castle, staring at the sky for some reason. Why?

_"_ _I wonder how you can hide that side of you from our comrades.”_ The girl beside him leaned on a wall. Why was he there? Who was that girl?

_“What do you mean… side?”_ He leaned on her shoulder and closed his eyes. Her shoulder was warm. Definitely warm. It was comfortable. He did not bother to see who it was… but he was tired. Still exhausted.

_“Your soft side.”_ She laughed softly. _“You’re pretty soft Captain… really…”_ Captain? When was he called a captain? Funny… He laughed a bit.

_“Stop it… haha…”_ he laughed a little… for the first time. She felt him lean on his head. Pretty unexpected.  _“Anyway… just make me coffee when I wake up.” That was his only remark._

_“Yeah… sure… I’d be happy to serve you coffee… even if it’s everyday…”_ That tone of voice was simply familiar, of course... it seems that he heard it somewhere out of this dream already…

Soon, he opened his eyes, and Levi was surprised that what was in front of his eyes were pure white, not until he realized it was the ceiling after staring into it a for a few seconds. He also heard a beeping machine beside him. Levi touched his neck, surprised that there is a bandage around it.

 

_I remembered that I slit my own throat… And I was in a white room by the time I woke up. Was I already in heaven? No. A machine was beeping beside me, a dextrose hose was attached on my arms, and also, a hose with blood running in it was also there… I knew that I was still alive… and I was in a hospital. Still… that dream… that short scene was stuck in my mind… Who was that girl, and why was she so familiar? Who saved me? Whose blood is running in my veins?_

“You’re finally awake, Levi…” Someone called. He turned his head towards the side, saw his professor with blond hair and a few inches below it was an undercut.

“Oh… hi Sir Smith…” He stated as he looked at the ceiling again and closed his eyes. “Am I still alive?” Levi asked as he put his arm over his eyes.

“Yes you are. In fact, you’re still breathing and talking to me.” The man laughed.

Levi also let out a laugh, but it was sarcastic. “Oh really then… I did not expect that answer Professor Erwin Smith…” He barked.

“You should be lucky you’re still alive.” He stated.

Levi simply rolled his irises towards him. “Then why the hell are you here?” He asked. “Why the hell am I here? I was supposed to be  _dead_.” He emphasized.

“You were  _bathed in your own blood,_ because of the description given by the witness.” Erwin stated seriously as he took out an apple and peeled it. “And you are asleep, for five days already. Basically you were in a coma.”

Levi laughed. “So, I was? I appreciated it if I were  _dead_.” He rolled his eyes away. “I have nothing to live for anymore. And who was the one who brought me here?”

“I heard what happened to your parents, but don’t expect to see them in the afterlife when you die. You  _won’t_  see them.” He coldly stated. “And as for the one who brought you here, you’ll find out soon. Don’t ask why.”

“Fine. I won’t ask anything about the one who took me in, but what do you mean by the afterlife thing??” Levi snapped as his eye twitched. What did he mean exactly? What was Erwin trying to emphasize?

Erwin simply sighed. “Killing yourself would only bring it to the worst case scenario.”

“Didn’t I say that I have nothing to live for anymore?” He stated again, blankly, and coldly. “What’s the use?”

“You’ve got a lot in front of you. You’re one of the students that have potential, aside from Ackerman.” He stood up and placed the sliced apples on the plate, hiding his knife on his pocket. “And you must move on. I know it wouldn’t matter to you if you topped the University and got passed its standards, but let me tell you this. You can’t let your parents be disappointed in you because of that accident. Surely, they’d appreciate it if you lived for their sake, even if they’re not here anymore.”

“What makes you so sure about that sentiment? Of course, I don’t care about the rankings. I also don’t care if I fail or pass… but how do you know they’re disappointed? Did you see them in your dreams?” He stated with irony.

Erwin simply sighed again. “Nope, but they would be happy if they see the dreams of their own son get fulfilled. Surely, they must be watching you from heaven.”

Levi snapped his tongue. “Shut up already. I’m in no fucking mood to play jokes.”

“By the way, I have something from your friends.” Erwin brought out a bouquet. “Eren and…”

Levi laughed again. This time, it wasn’t sarcastic. “What the fuck? Eren Fucking Yeager gave me flowers? Holy shit. Do I look like a person who’d like flowers? And I’m not a woman.” He sarcastically stated, still, with a sense of amusement in it, even though Levi is utterly disgusted… He simply crossed his arms and sat up from the bed. He was simply amused by this, and obviously, he was kind of disgusted. Levi gave a sigh of amusement. “That was funny…”

“You did not let me finish that statement.” He sighs. “Eren and Petra bought these for you.”

As soon as Levi heard the second name he mentioned, he turned his head towards him.“Pardon? What was the second name you mentioned sir?”

“Petra. From the same class as you are. You don’t know her?” Erwin raised an eyebrow.

Levi simply nodded, pretending he knew her… but the name was terribly familiar. “I see…” He looked up and tries to remember. Few seconds passed, and he remembered the day he committed  _failed_  suicide. “Aah… that petite girl with strawberry blonde hair?”

“The both of you have almost the same height. Both of you are  _petite._ ” He emphasized. “But her height is of an average girl… and you…” Before he could finish his teasing statement, Levi cut him off with a growl. After that, Erwin stopped talking.

Levi’s eyebrows met after that statement. He decided to ignore it anyway. “Fine. I get your point.” He sighed. “When will I be out?”

“You’ll be out of here in a week’s time. The injury you gave yourself wasn’t that crucial, so you’ll recover quickly.” Erwin turned his back and then started towards the door. “By the way, expect a lot of activities and projects you’ve missed.”

“Just give me a zero. I don’t want to do any of that shit.” He stated.

Erwin let out a single laugh. “I’m your instructor. And I’m giving you the activity whether you like it or  _not._  You don’t have a choice. If you get discharged from this hospital, I’ll make sure you won’t go to death’s door again. Good day then.” He said as he stepped out of the doorway. “Oh, by the way, Miss Ral will visit you  _again_ today.” He let out a smile and then closed it.

“Tch… that retard.” He simply muttered because he was pissed off.  But still, the fact that he wants to kill himself is still fresh in his goals, but… something hinders him to do so.

“Damn it…” He said as he forcefully lied down in his bed again, pillow on under his head, for comfort of course. “This place… is fucking filthy…” He stated. He closed his eyes again, just to drift off to sleep once again. “So, what’s her reason for visiting me again then?” He muttered and growled again, deciding to shut off his consciousness, for now.

He did drift off to sleep, yes… but there was this certain image of a wall in front of him, and then he sees himself walking into a certain house… As he did, he witnessed a girl, of course, familiar again. He simply called her name, but it seems that he doesn’t know what he said since his voice was totally muted saying her name.

_“What is it Captain?”_  She smiled and enthusiastically asked him as she twirled.

_“I would like you to join the Special Operations Squad, if ever the Scouting Legion would win the argument against the Military Police.”_ he puffed out a sigh.  _“So, do you accept my offer?”_

Levi did not know what he was saying in his dream, but he knew that it was something that made utter sense. Military Police, Scouting Legion… why the heck does it all sound so familiar?

_“Of course I do Captain! But…”_  She looked down, as if thinking of the right words to say.  _“Umm… why does it have to be me??”_

He turned his back and faced a window.  _“You’re actually one of the strongest members, and you have potential. And I am certain; you can protect Eren with Gunther, Erd and Auruo with all your might.”_  He slightly grinned, and it faded away in a blink of an eye.  _“Don’t tell me you’re rejecting my offer?”_  All those names he mentioned were all the people he knew. But, still, why were their names there?

_“N—No!!”_  Her voice was stammering due to the tension of anxiety.  _“I… I just… I just wanted to know why…”_  Levi simply turned around and put his hand above her shoulder.

_“I’m just kidding. I hope you get along with Eren.”_  Get along with Yeager? That’s funny… Suddenly, his attention was shifted to the coffee she was making.  _“What’s this?”_  he went by the table, and saw a cup filled with coffee, as the aroma drew him near.  _“Coffee?”_

The girl nodded and bravely answered.  _“Yes Captain!!”_  She smiled warmly again.  _“Would… would you like to give it a try??”_  She offered.

Before he would taste it though, he was awoken by a certain aroma, and it was coffee. Why was it there? Levi sat up, and turned his head sideward to see why there was such an object in his room. As he did, all he saw was the girl in his dream earlier.

“W—what are you doing here?” He asked, in quite a surprised manner.

She smiled. “I just wanted to stay on standby at the moment.” She stated. “Surely, you hadn’t forgotten me?” She asked as she twirled to face him. "We just bumped in each other... five days ago." She stated a bit sadly.

His eyes simply searched for the coffee, but he needed to answer her question. “Petra Ral, correct?” He confirmed. Of course, He remembered that she was the one he bumped in to five days ago, or rather, she's the one who clumsily bumped him.

She nodded. “Yup! Glad you remembered me.” There was this sad expression on her face. Levi can see it, but he can't make it out though. It's just confusing.

“I do, smell coffee…” He stated. “Is it yours??” He looked straight into her eyes later on.

Petra simply nodded as a response. “Of course. And I just finished making it.” She poured coffee in the cup.

Levi’s eyes simply grew when she said she made it. Now, he wanted to confirm. “So, you  _made_ that??” He asked.

“Huh?” She stopped pouring the coffee and turned her attention to him. “Hahaha! I did. What’s with that dumbfounded look Levi?” She smiled teasingly.

After Levi saw her teasing smile, he pinches his temple with his forefinger and his thumb. “Nothing…” He sighed. Why did he ask that question anyway? Was it because of the dream he had earlier?

“Would you like to try it then, Levi?” She asked politely as she took out another paper cup from the bag she brought and poured in coffee.

“I would love to. Thank you.” Levi simply replied, and then stared at it. He actually found the aroma familiar to what he had smelled in his dream. So while waiting, he simply stared at the black substance being poured to the cup. As soon as she was done with it, Petra gave him the cup she filled with moments ago. “Here.” She smiled and Levi took it with his fingers slightly clenching the mouth of the cup.

As Petra seated by the table she had her coffee on, she found Levi’s way of holding his cup quite weird, and unique at the same time. “Do you really hold cups like that, Levi?” She asked as she took a sip while looking at Levi, waiting for a response.

“I really don’t know but, I’m just used to this.” He stated as he took a sip from the cup. As he did, he knew that he tasted this before. The taste was sweet and calming. All the ingredients in the coffee blended together perfectly. It wasn’t too bitter, nor was it too sweet. It was just right. He knew that he has tasted this before, but he didn’t know where. For now, he’s dead confused on where he tasted this thing before. For what he recalls, this is the  _first time_  he tasted her coffee. And this is the first time they interacted with each other in a friendly way.

“What’s wrong?” She noticed Levi was spaced out. “I called your name for six times now, and you just responded to the seventh call.” She laughed. “Is there something wrong with the coffee? Is it too bitter? Is it too sweet? Is it…” Before Petra would finish her questions, Levi simply cut her off.

“Don’t ask me a lot of questions all at once. If you want to ask me what’s wrong with the coffee, there isn’t anything wrong with it. Actually, it isn’t too acerbic, it isn’t too sugary either. It’s simply  _perfect_.” He stated, smiling a bit.

Of course, he felt Petra blushing from the distance. He can see it due to his peripheral view.

“I—I see…” She bowed her head down and sipped from her own cup again. “Th—thank you.” She said. “I’m happy you… you like it.”

“Why don’t you put up a coffee shop?” Levi asked. “That would be nice. My stress might be relieved in the process and…” He was about to finish but just this instance, he just realized that what he said was terribly familiar. His eyes simply enlarged due to the fact that it was all familiar.  _Why?_

“Thank you… I would do so if I’m done with my course. Maybe as a part time job.” She stated. “And you look like you want to space out again. Is there something the matter??” She asked again. Of course Levi was already in the verge of spacing out because of what he said.

“Don’t worry. I just… find this setting…  _familiar._ ” He said.

Petra put her index finger under her chin. “Hmm…” She thought. “Maybe it’s because of Déjà vu?” She stated.

Oh yes… Déjà vu… the phenomena where one finds a certain setting familiar, or one finds this certain setting done in the past. But for Levi, part of him says it is, and a small part tells him it isn’t. “Probably so…” He sipped from the cup again.

“Besides Levi, I also have a hunch that this kind of happened before.” She said as she laughed a bit. So, he isn’t the only one. Good then, he thought. He was about to drink again but he finds that there’s nothing left inside. Petra simply stared and immediately suggests. “Would you like another refill?” She asked again. “It seems that you finished it quite quickly. And it’s pretty cold you see…”

Levi nodded. “Please do.” He responded as he gave a small smile that disappeared within a second.

Petra nods and took the tumbler filled with coffee and poured it in his cup. She pulled up her sleeve and Levi noticed a wrist band, and just a few centimeters away from it is a ball of cotton with medical tape, plastered on her skin, covering a wound.

“Why do you have that?” He asked out of curiosity.

“What that?” Petra was confused. “Please clarify the question, Levi.” She closed the lid as soon as the cup was almost full. After that she pulled a chair by his bedside, and sat down. “What do you mean by that?” she was stating the question filled with the nervous tension. It seems that she’s hiding something, he thought.

“The cotton ball on your wrist. What’s that?” Levi asked. “Why do you have that? Did you get injected or something??”

Petra laughed a bit, and it was a laugh of relief though. “You wanna know why I have this cotton ball over a wound?” She asked. Levi simply nodded as a response and paid attention to what she has to say. "I was injected, yes and I was giving away my blood. You can say that I donated my blood.” She smiled.

Levi was a bit confused. “Oh? For who?”

“Aaah…” She stretched her arms forward and pointed at the pack of blood hanging on the rod, beside the dextrose pack. “You.” She bent her head sideways and laughed.

Levi seemed surprised. “Wh—what??” He was really surprised. “Why??” He asked.

“You needed a blood donor just yesterday because the blood bank ran out of type AB. Professor Smith donated, Mikasa was an AB type but she was sick… and the only resort to the problem was me, so, I donated my blood to you yesterday. And it seems that it isn’t running out yet.”

“Did I really run out of too much blood when I attempted to kill myself??” He asked.

Petra simply bowed her head down, and then lied down on the bed, face down on the cushion. “Actually, yes…” She stated. “I was the one who  _found_  you.”

As Levi heard the statement, he can’t help but feel guilty after that. For some reason, he just felt guilty. Very guilty. Why though? He doesn’t have any thoughts about it. He just knew that he was. “So, you’re the one who brought me here…? How did you know where I live?”

Petra simply turned her head sideways, cheeks rested at her arm. “There was an object you left to me when we bumped each other. I mean, there was an object I didn’t give to you after we bumped each other, and it was a lighter.” She sat up properly and took out the lighter that was in her pocket. “I knew it belonged to you, and I followed your tracks going home. I was supposed to catch your attention, but you were walking too briskly. You also ignored me when I called your name once.” Petra said in a sad tone. Levi simply paused; showing disinterest in his expression, but inside, his conscience was filling him up. Was that the reason why her expressions earlier seem to have sadness in them? “Why did you want to kill yourself that day? Did something happen?” She said. “I know that I am not in the position to ask you this… but… I want to… help you…”

Levi simply puts his hand on her hair. Something told him that he should tell her the reason… even if he was against it. He was usually a cold bastard who was secretive… but there was something with Petra that actually made him open up. There was something with her that made him trust her immediately. “My parents died in a car accident, a few days prior to when I slit my throat. Probably, 2 days before… and I received the news last.” He looked down.

Petra simply took hold of his hand and clasped it together in front of her. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have forced you to tell this to me.” Tears started to fall down from her eyes. “I’m sorry…” She bowed her head down, while she held his hands. Petra’s hands were small, and were soft. Her fingers were thin compared to his. “I remember… that day… you were almost lifeless… you were cold… I thought you were already going to die… I thought you were going to die… in my arms…” She cried. “I thought that I wasn’t able to save your life…” She continued… and her voice was cracked. “I thought that it was all over for you…” Levi simply put his coffee away, and the two stared at each other for a few moments. Of course, Petra still continued to weep, and apologize, until Levi can't take it anymore.

“Don’t apologize.” Levi stated. “I should be the one apologizing to you since you saw me bathed in my own blood. I should be sorry for doing something so fucking reckless.” He said as his voice cracked a bit. Why? He touched her cheek with the hand she took in hers. “You don’t have the right to cry.” Petra simply burrowed her face into the sheets and continued to cry. She was definitely terrified, Levi thought. To think that it was a girl who brought him here, to think that it was her who saved his life. It was pretty unbelievable.

 

_Why did I trust her? Why did I feel like I did something wrong against her? Did I feel that I worried her too much? I don’t know why exactly, but I knew that I had to stay alive for now. I really don’t know what the reason is. I just knew I had to._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy the second update... pretty long again, and I am sorry. I told you guys that I will divide it so it won't be hard to read... x"D
> 
> Enjoy :)

 

Levi tried to sit up of bed, attempting not to wake Petra up. As he looked around, he was definitely surprised to see a couple of things like bags on the floor and then packages of food on the table. Levi simply sighed. He thought that maybe he could stand up for now, even if the dextrose hose and the blood hose are attached to him. Well, he just realized that he needed to take a shit. Good, he thought. He also realized that he was stuck on a beeping machine that made it harder for him to stand. And of course, one step out of the bed, can endanger him since he can alarm nurses if the machine beeps endlessly.

“Damn it…” He uttered to himself. “What a bad time to fucking take a shit…” He sighed, irritably.

He gently laid his back on the bed once again, thinking of other shitty dilemmas he can think of. If only he can adjust the bed to make him lie down in ease, lessening the stinging pain on the pelvic bone… if only he can get his ass out of this place. Even if he wanted to get out, he can’t. Of course, as stated earlier, hoses are attached to his body.

He suddenly coughed a bit, and of course, it was loud. It was also aching a bit. Maybe it was because of the wound? No. He then realized that he coughed loudly, that it can wake anyone up, most likely, Petra, who was still sleeping soundly on the bed, with her back crouched. Isn’t her back aching as shit? He thought again. She moved a bit, and moaned. She opened her eyes, sat up, and then stared at Levi.

“Petra… I… can you…” It’s pretty embarrassing to say but, he  _needs_  assistance just to take a shit. He is, most likely turned off, especially when it’s embarrassing that it’s a woman who’s going to be assisting him. Levi rarely asked anyone for help, but this setting, is most probably considered as an exception.

“What is it, Levi?” She asked, still drowsy, eyes are heavy, voice is too soft, her attentiveness is doubtingly clear, and she still might be seeing stars.

Levi was a bit pissed, and he really needed to take a shit, and of course, he can’t take it anymore. “Can you… please… accompany me to the…” before he could finish his statement, Petra suddenly fell down, back first, flat on the ground, along with the chair of course. “What the fuck…” Levi was totally dumbfounded of what was happening. Did she always sleep like this? He simply encapsulates his thoughts within his mindset, again. “Petra??” He looked down, and of course, as he did, she was still asleep.

“You shit… don’t expect me to get down there and get you back up here.” He sighed. All he knew right now was that he needed to get her out of that position. Surely, the floor is filthy, it’s filled with germs, viral bacteria, and whatever fungi are there… well, those are out of Levi’s concern right now. All he wanted to do was to get her out of that position, make her sleep tight, and then finally, take a shit. Oh how he wanted that to happen, but it won’t, as of the moment. He growled due to the fact that he cannot get down. What if the hoses attached to his body get off? It will surely alarm everyone in the hospital. Well, as long as he can be careful. That was his initiative plan anyway. Be careful. He finally decided to get his ass out of the bed, even if it was difficult. Levi’s feet touched the ground, and he attempted to get her up. He already kneeled on the ground and was about to get her up, until someone opened the door.

“L—Levi?!” It was Eren Yeager. “Levi?! What are you doing there?!” He dropped the plastic and immediately approached him.

Levi simply glanced furiously at Eren. Of course, this was the perfect time to be sarcastic. What on earth would he be doing on the ground then? “Want to know what the hell am I doing here? I’m going to sleep on the floor, dumbass.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry! But, what are you seriously doing there? Why is Petra on the floor?!” He asked pointing at her. Certainly, this irritated Levi more. Instead of helping her up, he just pointed at her and ranted whatever kind of shit he’s processed inside his head upon seeing the incident.

“Holy shit Eren Fucking Yeager. Don’t just fucking stand there and rant about whatever shit you think about the fucking situation. Just fucking help me get her up the fucking bed so she can fucking sleep fucking comfortably.”

“How did she fall down there?!” Eren asked.

Levi sighed. He knows that he can’t call Eren a dumbass for asking that question. Naturally, he didn’t know that she fell down. But what would a normal person think then? Of course, it was assumable that she fell down from the bed, and still managed to sleep as soundly as possible, even if the impact on the floor was quite strong. “Petra just fucking walked here and then lied down on the fucking ground.”

“I’m not being sarcastic here Levi!” Eren complained.

Levi simply snapped his tongue. “Then stop complaining and fucking help me, asshole!!” He scolded. And it’s obvious that he already wanted to take a shit. Eren did not respond and helped him get Petra up the bed instead. They successfully lied her down on the bed.

“Umm… Levi…” Eren called. Levi simply faced him with his usual stern expression. “Where will you lie down if she’s asleep in your bed?”

Levi puts his palm in his face. “I’m tired of sleeping in a sitting position. She can rest on that bed, as long as she wants to.” He stated. “And by the way, can you help me go to the comfort room?”

“Why?” Eren asked.

Now, this pissed off Levi more. “Fuck… I’m going to kill you if you don’t use your fucking head for once.” He threatened and pierced swords, daggers and spears into Eren with his stare.

“O—okay…” He responded anxiously as he helped him up, towards the comfort room. But first, he had to carefully pull out the nodes stuck on his body. Eren successfully did it, and accompanied Levi to the comfort room. After that, Levi simply closed the door, pulled down his underwear, and took a shit. IT relieved him, since of course; he was enduring it for more than thirty minutes, presumably.

As he was done, he immediately stepped out of the room. “What are you doing here anyway, Yeager?” Levi asked. Certainly, he was a bit confused to why he was there. They have classes, don’t they?

“Mikasa, Jean, Armin and I just wanted to visit you.” He answered. “Well, we really don’t have any classes today, so, I can say that…”

“You guys skipped classes for me?” He sighed. “What the fuck is running inside your minds? Did you guys really think I was going to die that’s why you guys visited??” He said as he positioned himself sitting on the bed, just beside Petra who was still sound asleep after her tragic fall from the bed while she was seated.

Eren shook his head as he wore an expression telling Levi that ‘that isn’t the point’. “Well, it’s a holiday today.”

“Oh… yeah…” He puts his palm in his face. “Stupid me.”

“Hey!! Levi!!” That voice, it belonged to horse face Kirchstein… Levi thought. He turned to the door, and saw Jean with Mikasa. Jean was carrying juices, Mikasa was carrying the other food.

“How are you feeling?” Mikasa asked kind of casually, but still it was cold.

Levi simply nodded. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking Ackerman.” He called her by her last name.

She sighed. “Anyway, the professor asked us to give you these books, and you should review them when you get discharged from here.” She stated as she took out a book.

“Holy shit. Our professor is such a retard. Is he seriously bitching with me?” He irritably said. Of course, this rather pissed him off.

“It’s what he said Levi. You don’t have a choice. He wants you to do it.” Mikasa simply stated.

Levi snarled a bit. “Fine then. Give me those shitty books then. I’ll do what I can to finish them within this day, because I, myself, do not want to be stressed out because of this, especially when I am still recovering.”

“The Professor knew that you can finish that even if you were injured. It’s like you don’t really give a shit about your works, after all.” She coldly teased Levi.

Jean simply held her shoulder. “Hey, Mikasa, that was a bit too much, don’t you think?” He stated.

“Jean…” Armin poked him on the shoulder. “It’s perfectly normal…” He whispered. Levi heard that of course. But, he doesn’t care about that. “Let’s just finish whatever business we have here, shall we?” Armin stated.

“What on earth are you guys doing here anyway?” Levi asked. It was pretty unusual for them to be here. Just goes to say that all of them are here though.

“We were actually sent here because the professor did not want you to do reckless things…” Armin muttered a bit, audible enough for Levi to have heard it.

Levi simply sighed. “Idiots.” Mikasa went near Levi and handed the book to him. Levi simply took the two books she was carrying, and she instructed Levi what he needed to do. Of course, Levi simply opened the book. “Do what you guys want. I’ll just stay here and do the tasks our professor gave. Just don’t be noisy.”

“Aye-aye…” Eren stated. “We’ll be leaving for a while, if you want to.” He said.

“Good then. It would be much easier for me to concentrate than having all your asses in here.” He stated.

Mikasa simply growled. “Let’s go guys.” She then looked at Levi and puts her long hair behind her. “We’ll go back by lunch time and we have food.”

“What about Petra?” Jean asked as he pointed at her. “She’s still asleep.

Levi sighed. He knew it was rude to wake someone up when they’re having a pretty nice sleep. “Just let her be. She’ll wake up when she wants to.” He said. “And besides, it’s rude to wake someone up in a nice sleep.”

Armin nodded. “Okay then. We’ll be seeing you later on then.” He said as he went out.

“We’ll be bringing you in food Levi!!” Eren enthusiastically stated as he went out.

“Just don’t do something reckless to Petra, okay Levi?” Jean smirked.

Levi put his palm in his face. “Do you seriously think that I, would do something reckless in this state? Use your brain you damned horse face.”

Levi noticed Mikasa grab Jean by the arm. “We’ll be seeing you later Levi.” She said and both of them went out the doorway, as Mikasa closed the door. That only leaves, he and Petra in the room. Levi turned the pages, to where Mikasa said the activity was. Of course, he constantly looks at Petra, who seems to have a very peaceful face in sleep. Well, due to the face that he let her lie down in his bed after taking a shit.

She’s sleeping quite peacefully, he thought. He still stared at her, and then ran his fingers on her hair. Oh, how soft her hair was…

He enjoyed the sight of her sleeping, and he thought it was _cute_. After getting hold of that thought, Levi pinched himself on the cheek. “Dammit Levi… what the hell are you thinking?” He uttered. Of course, he went back to his job, but still, he can’t stop looking at her for a second. The moment he glanced at her again, Petra suddenly squeezed her eye lids, and opened them. Either way, Levi still looked at her. Petra stretched, still on bed, and her clothes were pretty ragged and wrinkled. He also noticed a sleep mark on her face. Funny and amusing.

As soon as Petra got her senses, she looked at Levi, dumbfounded. She screamed of course, and she stammered while she apologizes to him, stealing his bed.

“I’m sorry! I’m really, really sorry!! I didn’t mean to!!” She continued. Levi simply chuckled.

“Don’t worry. It’s fine. I wouldn’t want you to sleep in a sitting position anyway.” He said. And also, he wouldn’t want to tell her that she sat up and fell down from the chair she was sitting on.

“But, I slept on the bed!!” She stated.

“I said it’s fine. I’m the one who made you sleep there. I actually transferred you.” Levi said.

Petra’s eyes enlarged. “ON YOUR OWN?! You’re strong!!!” She complemented.

Levi simply sighed, and responded with a nod. He decided to continue with what he was doing, until Petra sat up beside him, looking at what he was doing. Levi ignored this, but still, she continued to stare.

“What are you looking at?” Levi asked, a bit irritably.

Petra simply looked back at him. “Oh, want me to help you with the activity??” She asked. “I can give you a few hints.” She smiled.

“Are you sure about that? I mean, it’s really fine if you don’t. I’m perfectly fine answering this… alone.” He emphasized.

“Don’t be cold Levi! I’m already offering you help! And this task, had us go home with headaches!! Even Mikasa failed to answer this in a day!!”

“Well, if she didn’t answer it, what makes you so sure that she and I are the same? You think I can’t answer this piece of shit?” He let out a small smirk.

“N—no… it’s not… that… actually…” She said. “It’s just… your mind would be stressed…” she was about to finish her statement, but Levi cut her off.

“Oh, so you’re worried about me…” He said, wearing a smug little smile.

“N—no!!!” She said. “I… I just…”

“Do what you want then…” He said. “I too, would be happy if you help me out, but only if I really need it.”

Petra simply nodded and stood up. “How did you get that book by the way?” She asked.

“Mikasa and the others came in here just to give me this.” After that statement, Petra seemed to panic. She started to put her hands on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“T—they saw me sleep!!!” She said, blushing frantically, and continued to scream.

“It’s alright… they did not mind you at all.”

“But…”

“Shh…” Levi stated. “Just shut up for a moment will you. I need to concentrate…” Coldy, he ordered her. It was a bit irritating that she ranted, but at the same time, it was  _cute._  Too cute for his taste.

A few moments passed by, of course, Petra decided to stay silent, and waited for his orders. Levi concentrated on his book instead.

“Hey, Levi…” She called. Levi’s attention is in the book, but, he responds a nod, signifying that he is lending his ear. “Would it be okay, that we become friends?” She said.

“Friends?” He restated. “Since you saved my life, I guess I owe you. If you want to it’s fine. But I’m warning you, as early as now, this isn’t going to work out quite well.”

“Is it because of what others thought about you when they approach you? Guess what? That’s not the point of it. I will get used to you eventually.” She said. “Other people may look at you negatively, but I won’t. You can assure that I will treat you as a friend even if you push me away.”

Levi simply sighed. “Tell me, why are you so picky on making me your friend??”

“Because I want to.” That was her straight answer. “You can’t change my mind if I want to be your friend.”

He just put his palm in his face. “Don’t blame me if this turns out to be a bad idea.”

“It won’t be. Trust me.” She said. “And this too, is also for  _your sake._ ”

Levi immediately looked at her, with a surprised expression. “For my… sake?”

She shook her head. “I know you knew what that meant right?” She smiled. “Now, let me see what you’re doing, and I will assist you.” She said as she sat beside Levi, and looked at the book.

Levi sighed, and then turned to what he was doing earlier. “Fine.” He smiled a little. “Hope this goes well then.”

As they were working, Petra suddenly took notice of his wrists. “You seem to have gone through a lot, haven’t you?” She said as she gently ran her fingers on the bruises.

Levi simply nodded. “Yeah… all I can say is that these wounds… tell me how long I’ve tried to endure something. These wounds, tell people that I’ve been through a lot. And it actually means a lot to me.”

“So, guess you survived?” She said.

“Yeah…”

“I’m proud of you!” She said as she smiled. “I’m so proud of you… because you survived all those forms of torment.”

He sighed. “You know, if it weren’t because of you, I would’ve been dead by now. I owe you… a lot…”

Silence struck the room again, and Levi actually expected her to talk. But then, as he looked at her, she was crying again. “What’s the matter?” He said. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No…” She stated and wiped her tears. “I’m happy for you…” She smiled and turned to him. “Enduring all those forms of pain, it sure must’ve been bad for you… I can’t imagine how much torment you’ve been in that made you want to slit your throat that day…” Her voice was cracked again because of tears.

“Stop crying. I won’t be doing that again. Let’s just get over this. I’m already over the issue since last night, thanks to you.” He then continued working. Petra simply laid her head on his shoulder, and he really did not mind at all. Basically speaking, he was comfortable.

“If you’re going through something, I’ll be here for you.” She said.

Levi smiled. “Guess that goes the same way for you.”

 

_The way she approached me, was like how friends are. That time, I bashed her a few times, but it didn’t matter to her. I was happy in the inside, though I can’t show it physically. The way she touched the dried scars on my wrists, it was tender, and caring. She’s really concerned about the lives of people, to the point that she’d cry. My heart was beating a bit loudly whenever she spoke. Love? Probably not. Infatuation may be the proper term, though I can’t say it really is. And now, these feelings confuse me. Let’s just say I admire her then. I was discharged from the hospital after a few days, and I was ready to go. My recovery was fast, like what the professor expected. Petra and I usually walked home together after school. Basically, that already became our daily routine. I meet her outside of her apartment, and I bring her home too. Within those days, however, there was a time we didn’t go together to the University because she needed to tend to some important matters, and our schedules conflicted, specifically, on Thursday._

 

Levi was in a cafeteria after his 6 am class was finished and apparently, he was finishing the assignment he was given by Erwin. He was given a longer deadline to finish it though. Of course, he was also drinking a cup of coffee to keep him awake since he felt a bit drowsy. All around the campus, he seems to have noticed that some people were looking at him, as if they were talking about him. What reason though? He thought. Suddenly, someone sat down on his table.

“Hey! Levi!! Good Morning!!” It was Eren Yeager.

Levi simply drank from his cup and then greeted Eren in his usual way. “Good morning Yeager. What brings your ass here?”

Eren simply sighed. “Don’t call me by my family name…” He complained. “And I want to tell you something.”

“I’m sorry. It seems I am used to that. Where’s Ackerman and Arlert??” He asked as he was still focused on his assignment. “And be hurry with that shit. I’ve got no time for that.”

“Professor Smith asked them to do something for the moment. They’ll be coming this way in a few minutes, with the professor. He needs to speak with you too.”

“Oh… okay.”

“Anyway, Levi, these past few days, Petra seem to be so attached to you!!” Eren softly whispered.

Levi simply gave back a glare at Eren, and narrowed his eyes at him. “So? We’re just friends.” He emphasized the word  _friends._

Eren closed into him, to the point he’d hear his whisper. “I think she’s in love with you…”

“Oh Eren! For fuck’s sake…” He said in a quite sarcastic tone. “What the hell? Are you assuming something fucking ridiculous?!” He asked.

Of course, Eren became shocked and anxious. “But… the way she’s acting towards you shows it…”

“Damn it, Eren Fucking Yeager. You’re so fucking stupid.” Levi was definitely turned off, because of his assumptions. Even if he admires her, he can’t be sure that she is in love with him. Besides, it’s ridiculous. Just within those days? That’s quite fast. They can’t escalate to that immediately…

“No!!! Wait!! I think… are you two together??” Eren asked in a soft tone.

“Damn it Eren…” He said as he was pissed off. “What the fuck? Seriously?!”

Eren laughed loudly, to the point that people stared at them. Levi was pissed off. Terribly pissed off. “Motherfucker… the fuck are you laughing at???”

“You’re really funny Levi!! Ahahaha!!” After that statement, Levi threw his cup half filled with coffee towards Eren, staining his coat, and scarf.

“What did you do that for?!” Eren complained.

“Tch… you and Ackerman are together too, aren’t you?” He stated a bit loudly, and everyone was definitely looking at them.

“Levi… shut up!!” It was clear that Eren blushed after digging his face on the fabric of his coat. “Mikasa likes… Jean…” He stated with a bit of frustration. Perfect counter, Levi thought.

“Now, there goes my coffee…” He was about to stand up, but then, a taller woman smacked him at the back. He didn’t show a reaction, even though it was pretty painful. He turned to who hit him hard at the back, trying hard to hide his pained expression. To his surprise, it was Mikasa. Perfect… and she was with Jean.

“Oh… Ackerman.” He casually stated. “And it seems that Kirchstein is here too.”

“What did you do to Eren? Why’s there coffee on him?” She angrily stated.

Jean places his hand on her shoulder. “Mikasa, calm down…” He stated.

Levi sighed. “I happen to bump to him, and the cup fell on his head.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh really…” She stated. “What makes you think I’d believe that crap?”

“Stop fighting guys!!” Armin suddenly arrived with Annie. Good timing. He has the guts to stop Mikasa even if she’s already in her demented mentality. Well, for Levi, this isn’t the worst thing she’s ever done. Both of them achieved a lot of honors and awards. Both their rankings were higher than the standard ones the average college student can reach. But the difference is, Levi keeps his composed attitude, Mikasa goes haywire when something happens to Eren. Basically, she doesn’t give a shit about anything, as long as Eren is okay. Just like a babysitter. Her attachment to Eren simply confuses Levi. Even Jean is confused. Though both Eren and Mikasa are like brother and sister, her constant attachment to Eren makes it difficult for Jean to understand her. But still, he tries. As for Annie, she is also a lone wolf, but she constantly attaches herself to Eren and teaches him a lot of stuff. Maybe Annie likes him, since she would naturally smile out of nowhere when Eren does something she likes, or when she does something Eren likes. Vice versa as always. In Armin’s case, of course, he was a bit lonely. But he focused on his studies more than those kinds of things. He’d rather have friends as of the moment.

Mikasa simply snapped her tongue. “Tch… anyway, Professor Smith wanted to talk to you. Meet him at the lobby area. We’ll be waiting here.”

“Okay then, overly-attached-sister…” Levi replied at he turned his back.

Mikasa glared at Levi. “What did you say shortie??” She asked, with a small trace of staggering.

“Nothing.” Levi completely turned his back, and still heard Mikasa complain a lot. Due to Mikasa’s over protective attitude to Eren, it’s clear that she is his baby sitter and Eren’s flushed face whenever he hears her name, makes it evident that he likes her.

Levi was already walking towards the lobby, until he heard something brewing up in the news.

_“There was a car accident just near our University… it occurred a few minutes ago.”_

_“That’s bad!! Was it a girl or a boy?!”_

_“I heard it was a woman! I was passing by there earlier and they were getting her out. Her lower torso was slammed by the car, flat on the wall!!”_

After hearing those, Levi tried to call Petra. He took out his phone, and dialed her number. Fortunately, it was ringing… but she wasn’t answering…

“Fuck…” He turned his heel and was sprinting towards the exit. He was definitely worried about her. But as he sprinted, someone called his attention.

“Levi, where are you going??” It was the professor. He was blond, and wore a dark coat and a dark scarf. “You seem to be in a rush.”

Levi simply looked down. “I’ll be back.” He dialed her phone again, and continued to sprint. He has no time to talk to anyone… he needed to find out if she was okay. He needs to know if she’s still  _alive._

He sprinted, and constantly remembered the moments they spent together, particularly, the first time they met, and the time they became friends.

He arrived outside, and did not care about the people he’d bump into. He needed to see who the girl was. If it was her, then, it’s all over. That’s what is in his thoughts. He called her more than 5 times already, yet, she did not respond.

Levi arrived to the outer gate, and yes, there was a crowd of people not far away from his position. There was also smoke.  _So, that’s where the accident took place,_ he thought. He turned towards the direction, and squeezed himself into the crowd to see what happened. Not a lot of people were there though, so it was easy to get to the front. As he did, he looked at the head of the car which was smashed onto the wall, and saw a girl. The rumors the two people were muttering over were right. The girl was facing front, and her head was bent low. Some men were trying to get her out, and the driver was frustrated and crying. Levi looked back at the girl again, and she had strawberry blonde hair…

_Similar to Petra…_

As that thought came into his mind, Levi dropped his phone on the ground, and his mind darkened due to the fact that she isn’t alive anymore.  _She’s dead_. This scene seemed so familiar, and by that point, that’s where he finally remembered his dream. Where she died, blood-stained. Of course, he was stunned and furious. He also needed to break down.

 

 

_Was that girl her? That’s the only thought that came into my mind. It was clear she had that kind of hair color. Even the hair style was particularly the same. Was this the reason, she did not answer the phone? So, she is already dead. Maybe I have nothing to live for anymore. I have nothing left. But why am I saying this? I only admire her. I don’t love her. But why is my heart aching terribly? Why do I feel like EVERYTHING got taken away from me again?_


	3. Chapter 3

_“Goodbye…”_ Was all that he can say in his mind as he looked at her body discarded from the carriage.

 _“C—Captain!! What do you think about the Coffee I made??”_ What are these thoughts that appear in his mind? Why does it look depressing? What are these scenarios? He thought. Why was Petra there? It was definitely weird, but, all these scenes seems to have happened before. I was clear to him right now, that it’s all her. Her face was clear. Very clear.

Is Petra really dead?

He was about to step front, and beat up the driver because of his reckless driving. He doesn’t deserve to be in prison… he deserves to be dead. First step of his feet, he crumpled his fists. Second step, his eyebrows met and his forehead wrinkled… Though, another scene popped up in his mind before his attempt to make another step. Right now, he sees himself walking with his horse, and of course, even though he felt that he was sprained, he knew his horse was also tired. Though, as they were walking, someone called him from afar…

“Umm.. Captain Levi!!” A voice of a middle aged man called him from afar. He felt his steps close in to him. “My daughter is in your squad, and I’m Petra’s father by the way…” Petra’s father? What was he doing there? Why was he there? Why was he regarded as a captain?? All those questions are running within his psyche at one moment.

 _“Why… now…”_ Levi actually heard himself giving these small thoughts. Then, the image of Petra appeared in his mind again, wearing a calm smile as she hands him coffee. But she did not appear casual. She appeared with a few straps on her body, a white polo, thin white slacks, and knee length boots. That was really an unusual outfit for someone in this generation wore… unless, what he was seeing was a different Era. Even so, why does he visualize all this as if he’d gone through it?

“I wanted to talk to you… before she sees me…She sent me this letter… and she told me that you respected her abilities, that you let her join your squad… She also mentioned that she was going to live up to your expectations… Well, she’s too starry eyed… not being able to consider how her father feels…” He then gave out a nervous laugh. “Well… as her father… I think it’s still too early for her to marry… and she still has a lot to experience… she has a lot ahead of her…” What’s this? He thought again.

 _“This setting… why is it so depressing?”_ after that last quick thought. He slightly raised his foot, to make another but before he could make it, someone held his arm. It was a tender touch, and it was very similar.

 _“Captain…”_ Again, he was called by that kind of rank. He was utterly confused… but that hand, and that voice, all belonged to someone he regarded of as dead as of the moment. He turned to see who it was before he’d make any step further. Surprisingly it was Petra. She looked at him with worried eyes. Good grief… he thought.

“Levi, are you alright???” She asked. “Do you know that person there???” She asked with an utterly bewildered expression. Levi simply looked down, sighed in relief. He put his palm in the half of his face, and smiled like an idiot. _“Shit… shit…”_ He thought as he chuckled a bit.

“L—Levi?? What’s wrong?” After her question, Petra attempted to grab hold of his hand, but he got ahead of her and immediately sprinted away, and out of the crowd. As soon as they were out, he looked at Petra’s expression, and it was clear that she was confused.

“Levi, is there something wrong? Is there… something on my face??” She asked repeatedly, of course, Petra was simply surprised. Levi’s behavior was not like him. “Are you okay?? Do you know the person who died over there??”

Levi simply touched her face, and then ran his fingers to her hair. He needed to prove that she was alive. He cupped her shoulders, her arms, and descended to her hands, which he clasped tightly. “Stupid…” He stated and then hugged her tightly. “I thought that woman was you. I thought you fucking _died_ already. You weren’t answering your phone… and I heard these fucking rumors about a girl who died as her body has been smashed by the car and the fucking wall…”

Petra simply hugged him back. “I… I’m alive right now, aren’t I?? You don’t need to worry anymore. I’m so… sorry for making you worry like this…” She stated as tears fell down from her eyes. “I won’t let that happen again Levi… I was busy that’s why I did not answer your call. I apologize… I really do…”

 

_To think that she was dead that time… I can’t believe how worried I was with her. If she died, I knew that my world will be broken down to ashes… But what if I die? Would she care for me? And why the hell am I feeling like this?! Why the hell do I care so much about her?_

 

Levi and Petra went back inside, and met up with Eren, Mikasa and Armin. Obviously, the professor was there to discuss important matters regarding the project… of course.

As they were walking towards the table Levi left earlier, Eren enthusiastically waved at them. “Good morning Petra-san!!!”

Petra simply smiled and waved back. “Good morning too Eren!!” As they arrived at the table the two of them sat beside each other. Of course, the table was circular. Eren was beside Petra and was positioned to Levi’s right, Armin was at his left, then Erwin, then Mikasa, and then Eren was obviously beside her.

“So, Levi, why were you rushing out?” The professor asked as sternly as he could. By the looks of it, he was pretty disappointed. Surely, it was because of Levi’s rude behavior where he walked out on him without telling a reason.

Levi sighed. “Someone died in an accident.” He simply stated.

“So I heard. Why did you go there?” He asked again. Now, Levi just needed to breathe calmly. He doesn’t want to spit out that it was because of Petra that he went out to find out if she was still breathing.

“I just wanted to see who it was. I was afraid that it must be someone I know.” He answered plainly again.

“So was it someone you know?”

“Gladly, it wasn’t. But I really hope that the people related to her won’t feel depressed and all.” He sighed. He was relieved that it wasn’t Petra, but the fact that he saw someone dead in front of his eyes, was something that he seemed to _have been used to._ Questionable in his thoughts, this was his first time to see a dead person in front of him, but something tells him that he was pretty used to this though.

 _“Captain… W-was I able… to help humanity? Or… will I die, never having been of any use at all?” He asked, while tears were falling in his eyes._ Ahh, once again, another weird scenario from his mind. And now, it’s a dying person, asking him a question if he was of use to humanity.

Levi saw himself grab the hand of the blood-stained soldier. Even if blood was gushing out of his hand, he still did not care though. “ _You have done a great deal. And you will continue to do so. The resolve you will leave behind will give me strength. I promise you… I will obliterate the Titans!”_

Titans? What are they? Are they from the Greek mythology? The Romans perhaps? What kind of joke is this? He thought.

“Levi…” The professor called him, again it seems. Eeryoneround him, was actually looking at him for some reason though.

“Are you alright?” Erwin asked with a worried expression. “You seem spaced out.”

“You’re spacing out lately, Levi…” Petra stated. “Are you okay?”

Levi simply nodded, assurance that he was fine. “It’s nothing. My mind was somewhat, going to lengths that I don’t even understand.” He laughed a bit. “So, what do you want to talk about?” Levi asked. Of course, after he asked, someone covered his eyes from behind. It reeked of laboratory apparatuses. HE also heard laughter from beside him. Before he knew it, it was Hanji and Sasha.

“Hanji…” He coldly stated. Hanji was a pretty attached student to those in the criminology college. Levi does not know why though… Sasha is Hanji’s best friend… though… she is quiet sometimes, but tends to be noisy when Hanji is around. Both of them are Biology students. Hanji wants to study people, Sasha wanted to study plants.

“Hahaha!! How can you guess it was me so easily?!?” She laughed. Of course, it was obvious since she was a biology student. And every Thursday, Hanji would always have a lab activity.

“You’re a biology student… stupid…” He said as he put his palm in his face.

“Of course Hanji!!” Sasha stated. “You reek of Laboratory materials! We reek of it!” Sasha laughed.

“Haha! Okay then!!” She joyfully stated.

“Idiots…” Levi muttered.

“Just kidding!!” She pats his back. To Levi, Hanji’s the most annoying student, but still, she’s the smartest of the crop of their class.

“Now, back to the discussion… I’ll be going on leave.” Erwin stated.

Levi simply opened his book, while Eren was asking a lot of questions. “How many days professor?!”

“1 week.” He stated. “And I wouldn’t be here tomorrow.”

“Why one week?” Levi suddenly asked. “You could take a vacation in three days.”

“Just some personal issues. Particularly, family issues.” He stated. “Anyway… I’ll be giving you guys a project to work on to be submitted on the day I return. Particularly, Wednesday.”

“I see then. What project would that be?” Levi asked.

“It’s in your book. Just turn to page 199. That’s the page where the details of the project are taken in. I know you have thesis, but then, I asked your English professor to postpone it to a later date because I know you guys are cramped with requirements.” Erwin said. “I’ll get going now. That’s all I need to discuss with you guys. Ask your classmates to group by fives too…”

“Roger… if you don’t mind, what is that certain issue you speak of?” Levi asked again. Petra simply nudged him, indicating it was kind of rude to ask that kind of question.

Erwin laughed a bit. “You guys want to know? Fine then.” He stood up from his seat. “My wife is actually going to give birth in the next 2 days.”

Of course, everyone was pretty dumbfounded. They never knew of the professor having a wife yet, but they knew he has a girlfriend. That was according to rumors.

“Really?” Levi was obviously flabbergasted. “Well, congratulations… that is good to hear.”

Petra too, and the others simply stared at Erwin, with dumbfounded expressions.

“Congratulations sir!” Eren stated.

Mikasa nodded too, implying that she seconds Eren’s statement.

“What’s with your dumbfounded looks?” Erwin asked, confused.

Armin wanted to say something, but, it seems that he does not know how to sum it up. Still, he decided to talk. “We actually heard from the students from the Hotel and Tourism Management course that you have a girlfriend…”

“Yes sir… a lot of rumors spread around that you have a girlfriend…” Jean stated.

Erwin laughed again. “Those are pretty much rumors. People in the faculty know the reason for my leave. And I rarely tell the reason to my students. I cannot blame them for spreading unruly rumors about me.”

“OOH!!!” Hanji simply stood up and took Erwin’s hands shaking it. “Congratulations professor!! Why didn’t you tell us before?!”

“You aren’t supposed to be here, right? I’m only discussing this with my students, and you aren’t one of them.” Erwin stated a bit coldly.

“Noo!! Don’t worry! I won’t tell anyone about this!!” Hanji said. “Congratulations again, sir!!”

Erwin nodded. “Thank you Hanji. I’ll be taking my leave now. And by the way, I might make you guys the godparents of my first child.”

“Is your baby a boy or a girl?” Petra asked curiously. “I apologize if we ask continuously.”

Erwin smirked a bit. “It’s okay. Apparently, the baby’s a she… I’ll be telling the details to you all when I get back. And I don’t expect any of the other students to know about this. I trust all of you.” He said as he left the table, and headed straight out of the door, rode his car, and left the campus.

“Well, that was a bit unexpected.” Armin stated.

“Yeah!” Sasha laughed.

Annie simply took the book from Levi and turned to the page. “Well, I think we should start the project now. I’ll go inform our classmates.” She stated as she stood up from the table, bringing the book with her.

“Thank you Annie.” Levi stated.

“You’re welcome.” She replied and went on ahead.

Levi turned to Petra again, and by the looks of he face, or rather, her expression, it was empty. Empty, spacious... sad...

"Petra?" Levi called, but she was still stuck in that phase. He tried to call her again, and then nudged her a bit. Finally, he caught her attention. "What's wrong?"

"It's... it's nothing..." She said nervously. "I'm just spacing out, I guess. There are a lot of requirements... Let's go then, shall we? I want to start the project as soon as possible." She stood up, and walked ahead of him.

 

 

_Ever since I saw her here, I knew there was something missing in her expression… and I wonder now what it is… It’s not her appearance… it’s something within her. And the fact like she resembled the dead girl in my dream… I was afraid for her…_

Two days passed, their friendship grew stronger. Of course, Levi slowly gained trust in her. It came to a point that he felt ease, and seem to have forgotten his problems with her company. It was almost the end of autumn, and it would snow anytime. They were walking to his apartment, since he invited her in to make their thesis while his family friends were in a family reunion. They were passing by a candy shop, and Petra seemed to be interested to go in.

“You want to get in there? It seems that you want to.” Levi stopped walking.

Petra too, stopped and looked at him. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.” She smiled.

“I can actually wait for you here.” He insisted. “I really don’t mind.”

Petra immediately bowed down, and clasped her hands together. She then looked at Levi with bright eyes. “Thank you Levi!! I will be quick!” After that, Petra immediately stepped inside. Of course, Levi waited. What could he do? After a few minutes, Petra went out and shared a candy with him. What Petra gave him was a colorful licorice.

“Why’d you decide to buy candy?” He asked.

She laughed before she answered. “I just want to…” She said as she licked the lollipop she had.

“Okay… fine.” He said as they walked together going to his apartment.

“But I remember the time when I was a young girl. It was Halloween eve, and I bumped into a kid who was wearing a penguin costume.” She laughed a bit. “He was so cute. And he was bullied by kids who wore fearful costumes.” Petra laughed. Of course, Levi found that event kind of familiar. Oh yes, the time when they were children. Halloween’s eve, he wore a penguins costume and was bullied by the other children. Either way, he did not care about that. He just gave his candies away to the kids, until a girl in a ghost costume appeared to give him her candy.

“I see.” He suddenly wanted to know something. “Did you wear a ghost costume??”

“Yeah!! How did you know?” She was a bit surprised.

“Just hold your horses Petra. Let me finish. And I assume the young boy did not want to take your candies when you offered it to him?” He asked again.

She was dumbfounded. “W—what? How do you know all this?!” She asked as she stopped walking and stepped in front of him. “How did you know? Are you one of those bullies?!”

Levi laughed a bit. “Believe it or not, I was the little kid who wore that penguin suit.”

It was clear that Petra’s face was colored by a sweet shade of red. “W—what?! Really??” She was pretty surprised. “I—I see!!!” she immediately walked ahead of Levi.

Levi suddenly tried to break the silence and the moment of her embarrassment “Haha… I never thought that I’d be remembering something like that again. And I bet you were the aggressive little girl in the past eh?” He stated, making her stop in her tracks and looked at him. Levi just walked until he was already by her side, still walking, and getting ahead of her.

Petra caught up with him. “I wasn’t aggressive! I was doing the right thing.” She smiled and suddenly looked to where she was walking. A few moments later, they were already in front of Levi’s apartment. Apparently, Levi’s apartment is 3 floors up, 3rd room to the left, so they had to climb the stairs. As they did, Petra suddenly thought of a question to ask. “Hey, Levi… have you ever loved someone?” Petra asked while they were headed to the door of his apartment.

“What a sudden question… Why do you ask?” He still looked straight as he already stood in front of his apartment door.

She simply ran her hair to the back of her ear lobe. “I… I just wanted to know.”

“Why? Would you want to experience being loved by others? Aren’t you being loved by a lot of people? To what I can see, you have a lot of friends.” He said.

She laughed a bit nervously. “Not really though…”

“What makes you think that way?” He was confused as he took out his keys and opened the door. “You have good friends right? You have good friends aside from me.”

“If you only knew what was happening to me…” She muttered softly.

Levi heard what she said. He knew it was familiar lines he’s stated in the past. It was the line he stated when he was mutilating his self. “May you repeat what you said again?”

Petra stopped in her tracks and laughed. “It’s nothing…”

“What’s happening to you? You said something about it. Are you going through problems??” Levi asked.

“N—no… Let’s just go on with our thesis shall we?”

Levi took hold of her wrist slightly, but it seemed that she was already in pain. And the wrist band he saw the time they were in the hospital wasn’t present anymore. Either way, he must know what she was going through.

“P—please… it hurts… let go of me… Levi…” She cried a bit. He was confused to why it hurts, when his grip isn’t that strong. Instead of letting it go, he pulled up the sleeve of her wrists and then saw something he did not expect to see.

_It was a pretty shocking to know she is too. After she saw my damn scars on my wrists in the hospital, she also showed hers. Hers, were fresh… hers were much more in count compared to mine. How the hell can she smile like this when she’s going through all this shit?? How can she smile for me when she was going through much more?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know where the other scenes came from, just go to this link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/8247859-till-the-last-moment-levi-x-petra-rivetra-shingeki
> 
> This is just to tell you guys that this is a continuation of the other fan fiction... sorry for the delay...  
> tell me if you want me to post it here too. I will gladly do so, if you guys want to.
> 
> If there are parts you don't understand, please, tell me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reeally don't know what the heck I am doing anymore.  
> if there are grammatical and misspell errors... just tell me. I just did this in the middle of stressful occasions lol  
> Enjoy :)

“What the fuck have you been doing? Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself? Did something happen to you? Fuck this. What kind of shit are you going through?!” He scolded her after seeing her wrists.

She still smiled while tears fell down from her eyes. “I know it’s unbelievable to say that I am being rejected by the society since I get along with them… right? Let me say that some other women, abuse me too much…” She unbuttoned her coat and lifted the hem of her shirt showing a purplish-blue spot just on the side of her body. “They’re from another college in our institute, and of course, they hate me. It’s been going on for years. It started in Junior high. Right now, it became worst.” She looked down as she reminisces events that she doesn’t even want to remember anymore. “I want to end this torture. I want to die already to see if anyone cares.” Her voice was already staggering. “I hate this world… I hate everything around me… I hate those people… I want to die… I want to kill myself right now… I…” Before she would continue her statement, Levi hugged her.

“Stop it… just stop it.” He tightened his hug on her. “Do you think anything would change if you die?”

“Then what do you want me to do?! Let them toy with me until they’re satisfied? Do you want me to leave the situation alone?!” She was furious. Her tears fell down as she was stating these negative perceptions. Levi knew that she’s been through this shit for quite a long time now. It’s clear that she’s suffered more than he did. “What can I do?! I can’t do anything to stop the situation at all!! I’m useless!!! I deserve that!!!” She stated.

“Petra!!” Levi said her name in a stoic manner, catching her attention. “DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT DOING THIS TO YOURSELF WILL CHANGE ANYTHING?!” Instead of Petra answering, she continued to cry while she dug her face on his jacket. “Nothing will change. If you die, you die. You can’t come back to earth anymore once this occurred. And if you falter, you lose.” He hugged her tighter. “Petra… you don’t deserve this torture. You’re the last person I’d think of to deserve that. You’re the person I don’t expect getting hurt…” He pulls away from the hug and looked straight into her eyes. “I’m here for you, Petra. If you die like this, what the fuck should I do with my life if you die? Do you think I’d be happy if I lost you? Guess what? If you want to die so badly, I’m telling you that it isn’t worth anything. Didn’t you tell me this back at the hospital?!” That statement actually hit her. He knew too, he had to say those words. For what reason? The fact that the dream of her dying and bloodstained is still trapped in his dream. It’s in the back of his mind, and it keeps coming back to him. Then, after that, something hit him. His dreams suddenly turned into memories. He finally realizes that these sceneries aren’t mere dreams. They’re more than that. They happened. And it was tragic. Very tragic in the sense that it’s more painful than what was happening now.

_“Shit… This can’t be happening… this can’t be fucking happening…” He still thought due to incredulity, due to the fact that the very last time they met, was when they wedged the Female Titan for the first shot._

He remembered himself fighting for the human race… he remembered that he lost her because he left Petra, with his hand-picked squad alone.

_The only thought that came in his mind, was: it was his fault._

_But what was the use of blaming himself? Was it because he ordered them to protect Eren with their own lives? After all, what's done is done. Nothing can change that fact. No one, also expected this kind of outcome._

He can’t allow this tragic moment to repeat itself. He can’t. Seeing her bathed in her own blood is unbearable. He’d rather see her die peacefully, rather than see her die tragically.

_He closed into Petra, and then lied her down on the grass. But she can't lie down flat in the surface, since her spinal cord was broken. He kneeled by her side and held her in his arms. Levi looked into her lifeless brown eyes. She was already dead... He ran his fingers to her sunset colored hair, and felt the blood hardening on them. For a girl who had a lot in front of her, she shouldn't have died like this. He stared into her lifeless eyes for the last time and then closed them with his two fingers. He ran his hand on her cheek until he gently placed him palm on her cheek, and attempted to wipe the blood off, but it was already too hard and sticky._

_It was definitely a silent reunion. Their deaths will be proclaimed pointless, if they fail the task of this expedition. But, too many have lost their lives already. It was already too much._

Protecting Eren, killing gigantic monsters… Erwin as the leader of an army… all of it ran to his head. Though he can’t remember them all, this was the most tragic memory he’d never want to see or hear about again. She’s still too young to lose her own life. She still has a lot ahead of her, according to her father… so right now, all he can do is take back all those stolen moments back to the present. It was definitely painful to remember… but if it was a sign for a second chance in this rebirth cycle of their lives, he’d grab the chance to protect her by all means possible. He does not want to lose her  _again._

 

_That moment, was when I decided, that I live for her sake right now. The things I felt in the hospital was pretty unclear to me, but now, I have to do this. I may have lost everything… but she just gave me the reason to live. As soon as I found out that she’s been going through a lot, I’ve decided to live for her sake. She’s special. She’s become a treasure to me. She saw me bathed in my own blood? I don’t want to see her that way too. And basically saying, I wouldn’t want to lose her **again…**  I wouldn’t want to lose her, like how I lost her in my past life…  Now, I guess I know what these dreams are. They were prior to my past life. Why was I the only one who remembered this? Why am I being reminded of my past life? Why did it all hit me in this instant?_

“I know, I’ll hurt people when I die. But you’re just a friend Levi. You’re  _only_  a friend.” She stated, tears still falling, and her voice cracking and catching breath.

Levi held both her cheeks with his hands, and made her look straight into his eyes. “Look at me. Do you simply think that  _I_  am a friend? Do you think that I’m only a  _friend_  to you? Have you ever considered what I think about you?” He let out a small laugh.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Instead of answering her question, he simply led her into his apartment room, and closed the door. He also locked it to be safe. He accompanied her to the sofa, and lied her down. He took a damp towel to wipe her tears away, he took her wrist and cleaned the bruises. It’s surprising that she did not hesitate. She just did what he wanted her to do.

“Levi…” She called weakly. “I’m sorry…” She said as she was looking at the ceiling.

“Why the hell are you apologizing for?” He asked as he stopped cleaning Petra’s wounds. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

She shook her head and took hold of his hand using the hand he was cleaning. “I’m sorry… for doing this to myself…” She cried again. But Levi simply lets go and wiped her tears.

“I can’t blame you. I should be sorry for scolding you. I was just startled.” He stood up and took the first aid kit, just to disinfect her wound. Who knows what kind of blades she’s using. He then continued his task. She was tired. Petra was tired. Levi knew that she should at least rest.

She continued to weep. Her eyes were getting swollen, and Levi had to do something to calm her down. He felt that she was being guilty of her actions, and he had to stop her blaming herself. He sat beside her and then ran his fingers to her strands covering part of her beautiful face. “Stop crying. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She still continued to cry, but Levi did not stop comforting her nevertheless. “Tell me… why are you doing this?” She cried. “Please… answer me…” Levi suddenly carried her, but instead of hesitating, she hugged him. “Why Levi… why?” She asked again.

He went inside his room so Petra could rest. He sat her down on his bed, and sat beside her too. “Why am I doing this??” Levi went near her to the point they can feel each other’s breaths. His face was too close on her face. She felt him place his forehead on hers, and they stayed that way for a few seconds. Then, Levi decided to break the silence. “Do you want to know why?” He asked. Petra just nodded. She was curious to know his reasons. She wants to know what is inside his mind right now. She’s just plain confused at the moment. “I wanted to kill myself after knowing my parents died, not seeing them for the very last time. I did cut myself before just to suppress my anger. But I  _knew_  this isn’t the solution. I just let those people who cares around me feel distressed because of what I was doing. Listen to me. I’ll protect you from those women who hurt you. All I want you to do right now is to focus on the people who care. If those fucking women try to lay a finger on you again, I’ll handle them, and make it to a point that they won’t hurt you  _again_. I’ve never thought of you as a friend, but a treasure.”

“Levi, what are you saying? I… I don’t understand…” After that question, Levi simply placed his lips on top of hers. Before she knew it, he was already kissing her. They lasted in that position for a few more seconds until Levi pulled away and looked into her eyes again.

 “I  _love_  you. I fucking love you.” He stated as he kissed her on her forehead. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. I’ll do whatever it takes to dispose of the pain that stayed in your heart. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you  _happy._ ” After that, he kissed her on the lips again, but now it was longer. He tried to slip his tongue into Petra’s mouth. Surprisingly, she did not hesitate. She just let it in, and let him do what he wanted. She was too weak to hesitate at the moment, and she was too tired because of shedding too much tears. Petra moaned and grumbled as she felt his tongue land on every corner in her mouth.

While that event was taking place, the both of them unclothed each other. It was easy for them since they were wearing buttoned shirts, making it easy to remove. They thrashed their clothes roughly on the floor while they were kissing. Both of them were half naked, but Petra still had her brassiere on.

Levi soon laid her down on the bed gently, and stared into her hues. Petra simply gave the stare back. “Are you okay??” He asked her as his lower arms lied on the bed, while the other half was vertically erect as his elbows bent. His body was over hers, and he can feel her breath on his face. Petra simply nodded in response.

“I’m fine.” She smiled reassuringly. Levi simply smiled and trailed kisses on her cheek, to her neck, then, her chest. He raised her head to look at her again. Surprisingly, she too, was looking straight into his eyes. The eye contact lasted for a few seconds until Levi decided to kiss her again, with his mouth open. She accepted him, and did not bother to hesitate. She rode along the action, and hung her arms around his neck with one hand holding a handful of his hair, as the other was gently on top of his shoulder blade.

His mouth simply descended to her neck again, slightly nipping them. Of course, Petra didn’t care about that at all. All she knew was Levi was dominating her. After a turn of events, Levi breaks the moment and then looked at her again. “Would it be alright if I go further?” He asked in the most polite way possible.

Petra let out a small chuckle. She simply looked away, looking nervous. She was definitely nervous of what’s going to happen next.

“hmm…” He hummed as he unbuttoned her slacks, and gently pulled them down, but this time, Petra hesitated a bit.

 “Wait…” She stated… “I—I can do this on my own…” She said as she unstrapped her brassiere from behind. As she did, Levi unclothed himself as well. For Levi, he is prepared to take responsibility for whatever happens after this. But while the process was going on, Levi saw her crying.

“Is there something wrong??” He asked politely. Was there something wrong? “Am I going too far??”

She simply shook her head and covered her face with her arms. It seems that Petra did not want to see her cry. “No… You aren’t going too far at all Levi…” She said.

“Then why are you crying?” he asked again. He wanted to know. This is definitely the first time he was confused because of what she’s showing…

She sniffed her nose. “Even if I want to do it, I’m just scared… of what others would think of us… I’m scared of what might happen in the future… what if I’m not able to handle these consequences…?”

Levi simply sighed. “I see… Just answer this one question then. Answer this as honestly as possible.” He looked straight into her taupe hues. “Are you prepared for this kind thing? You know, I can…” Before he can finish his statement, Petra simply cut him off with her own answer.

“I… I’m sorry but I am not prepared for this…” She said. “I’m not ready to take responsibility of what will happen next. Even if you are, I’m not…” Tears started to roll down her face. “Levi… I’m sorry.”

Because of that, Levi simply smiled and tucked himself beside her. “It’s fine… I respect you. If you don’t want that, then we won’t go there until you are ready…” He took pulled the blanket and put it over them.

She raised her head and then kissed him slightly in the lips. After that, she hid her face into his chest. Her temperature was warm, and she was sweating. “Thank you…” She stated a bit, and snuggled in his arms.

               

_Under the cold season, I felt her warmth, her tender touch, her sweet kisses… everything seemed like a dream. Her bruises, her wounds, her scars… it all disappeared in that moment. She showed a smile that told me that she was comfortable, and with that, I also felt at ease. After I heard her say she loved me too, I can’t express how happy I was. Her sweet, tender voice made my heart beat fast. And how her alluring hues stare into mine, I feel at ease as well._

 

Levi sat up from his bed, and attempted to stand. But before he could do so, Petra weakly took hold of his hand.

“Levi… it’s cold…” She stated softly.

Levi looked at her, and ran his hand to the strands of her hair. “Aren’t those sheets enough for you my dear??”

She simply smiled as a response. “They aren’t enough…” She held his hand tighter. “Don’t leave me when I’m not asleep yet…” Levi lied down again and then hugged her while he clasped his hand with hers. “You’re warm…”

“And you’re quite cold.” He teasingly stated.

She laughed a bit. “Stop… hahaha…” She said as she burrowed half of her face on his warm skin. As she did, Petra asked a question…

“Did you really mean what you said earlier, Levi???” She asked.

Levi kissed her forehead. “I do. I won’t let some shitheads ruin your day. And most importantly, I never want to see your smile disappear from your face, and I do not want to see you cry.” But suddenly, he felt something wet on his chest, specifically, where Petra was laying her head on.  _“Is she drooling?”_  That’s Levi’s first thought, but as he looked at her, he heard her sniff. Just with that, he looked at her to see what she was doing, and he did. Apparently, she was crying.

“Why are you crying??” He asked. “I told you not to cry, didn’t I??”

She still continued. “I tried not to cry… but… tears just fell out of my eyes…”

Levi smirked a bit. “I see then. I guess you’re happy. If you are, then I am too.” He hugged her after his statement. Of course, Petra continued to cry, and simply replied.

_“I love you Levi…”_

“Same here.”

“You won’t leave me right??” She asked again.

Levi smirked a bit. “Of course, I will never do that.” He caressed his hand on her hair. “And thank you for giving me a damn reason to live.”

“What do you mean?” She asked curiously as she wrapped her arms around Levi’s waist. He simply kissed her forehead. “You’re the person I will live for starting from now on. And I am thanking you for that. Thank you for saving my life… thank you for everything you’ve done to me. Thank you for giving me this chance.”

“You too…” She smiled. “Thank you for doing the same.” Levi simply paused after that statement. He definitely heard that he thanked him for the same reason. He was happy. But he can’t show it physically though…

“If ever you’re feeling down, don’t hesitate to come to me and use me as your shoulder to cry on. I’ll always be here. Our problems, we’ll go all through this together.” He said as he looked at the ceiling. “And since we’ve done half of the act, I want you to be my girlfriend…” He said in a stoic expression.

“G—girlfriend?!” Petra was dumbfounded. “I—I mean… really??”

“If you’re not okay with that, I can actually wait.” Levi said again. Of course, he was willing to, since he did not want to see her experience whatever hellish nightmare they’ve been in their past life. All he wanted right now was to be with her, and of course, prove to Petra that he indeed, was a worthy man to own her heart.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be your girlfriend… I… I just don’t know how we’ll go on with this together in the next few days…” She blushed.

“Are you embarrassed of what other people would think?” He asked. “Petra, if you’re shy about that, then we’re getting nowhere. I’m willing to be your first and your last.” He said.

“Wouldn’t people think badly about us??”

“Don’t go pessimistic. Think about what our friends would say instead.” Levi said. “What matters is we love each other.”

She suddenly lied half her body over him. “If you say so, then I have nothing to be afraid of.” Levi gently kissed her again.

_“Je t’aime.”_  He said.

“Isn’t that I love you in French?” She smiled.

Levi nodded. “Yep.  And I thought that I am confusing you.” He smirked a bit.

“How could I be confused when this is a famous phrase?” She said.  _“_ Well,  _Ti voglio molto bene.”_  She stated snuggling in his arms again.

“Haha… Italian I presume?”

“Yep.”

“Let’s get a shut eye okay? We’ll just finish the rest of our thesis tomorrow.” Levi said as he placed his chin on top of her head. “Let’s skip class tomorrow…”

“I don’t want to.” She stated softly.

“Then we can’t finish our thesis…”

“It’s your fault.” She teasingly said.

Levi laughed a bit. “I just had to do it. For you.”

“Stop being sweet Levi…” She laughed later on. “Goodnight.” She stated as she raised her head and kissed his lips gently.

 

“Goodnight too my dear…”

 

\-----

 


	5. Epilogue

_We told ourselves, that we would not leave. And I’m doing this for her sake, and she too, is doing this for my sake. She devoted her own life to me, and was excited to introduce me to her father after a few weeks. Basically, we became lovers. Not everyone knew about it, and of course, Eren was pretty surprised, and was happy for us. That guy, acting like a kid, even though we’re of the same age._

 

“REALLY?!” Eren shouted in surprise.

“Now shut up Eren, or I would whip your ass to the point that you won’t be able to walk anymore.” Levi said as he glared at Eren.

“I apologize.” He said as he looked away.

“I’m happy for the both of you.” Mikasa simply stated, while she wore a decent smile.

“Same here.” Jean said as he hung his arm around Mikasa. That was pretty surprising too, for Levi.

“Are you guys going out?” Levi asked.

Jean simply laughed. “What do you think?” He said.

“I see… I guess that’s likewise for you too.” Levi stated. Well, that was pretty surprising for him, since he totally expected Eren to be with Mikasa. Either way, Eren was cool with it.

“To think that the lone wolf would get along with the socialite.” Armin laughed as he stated that.

“Aren’t you lonely yourself Armin?” Levi stated.

Armin simply laughed. “You think? Well, actually, I don’t because I have friends. I’m content with that fact already. And why don’t you ask Eren about his love life? He’s getting along with Annie…”

“Oh?! Really?!” Petra stated in surprise. “To think that a person like her who’s in solitude gets the chance to be with you!!”

“A-aah… not… really…” Eren sighed. “

“Guyyyss~” Hanji called as she brought Sasha with her.

“Oh! Hey!” Armin waved.

“The professor is going to show us his baby today~” Hanji said in a playful voice Of course, everyone was so happy. Very happy indeed.

Erwin told them to go to this certain hospital, and of course everyone was excited to see the baby. How did she look like? Whose features did it inherit? The thought of this was very exciting. They arrived, and looked for the ward of their professor’s wife. As they were walking, Petra asked Levi to let them stop by the nursery. Of course, Levi obliged. And so, they let the others went ahead, and they took a peek on the babies that were squirming and lying peacefully in transparent cribs that are laminated by warm lights.

“Oh, Levi… Petra…” That voice was unmistakably familiar. And it’s from their professor.

Levi waved, and Petra did too. They greeted their instructor in a casual way, and talked about how their requirements went on.

“So, where are the others?” He asked.

Levi bowed down a bit and sighed. “They went to your wife’s room.”

Erwin laughed. “I see. They thought the baby might be there.”

“So, how’s life going?” Levi asked.

“Doing good. Our family is doing good. After my wife recovered from a miscarriage a year ago, she’s doing okay. We’re doing okay. Life’s doing great. And I’m happy to see her smile, not being able to lose her second child again.”

Silence engulfed the space between them, even Petra herself was flabbergasted with his statement. His wife, getting a miscarriage. That was pretty unexpected… really. But at least, the second one  _didn’t_  die.

“I’m sorry…” Petra merely stated.

“It’s fine. Everything’s doing okay now. We really hope for the best. And I’ll make it to a point, my family is going to be happy. And I just noticed… I guess you two are going out with each other?” Erwin said as he let out a smirk. Well of course, Petra blushed and looked away, and as for Levi, he casually answered they are. Erwin’s reaction, obviously, he was happy for them and wished them luck. Of course, that’s the only thing he said. Good luck, and I hope you relationship would last longer. They are the usual words, but when he said it, it really meant a lot.

“Likewise.” Levi replied with a nod. Of course, Erwin waved and said he’d be tending to his wife now. He asked if they would want to go with him, but Levi said they still have to do something. And so, Erwin gave them their room number and Left.

The both of them continued to stare at the infants when suddenly; Petra grabbed hold of Levi’s arm. “Levi…” she called. Levi faced her and wanted to know what she needed. He is rewarded with a smile, and she lied her head over his shoulder. “I wonder… what kind of family we’ll have? We’ll we have a family like Professor Smith?”

Levi ran his hand on her hair strands. Of course, it was still too early to think of that… but… just the thought of seeing her smiles everyday overwhelmed him so much.  _It’s a blessing… rather…_  Petra herself, was a blessing to him. “We won’t have to have a family like the professor’s… We’ll make our own family, using our own happiness.”

“But… what if… what if I get a miscarriage too?” She stated. “I’m scared… that I’d lose our first child… if ever.”

“Why are we talking about this anyway?” Levi let out a small laughter. He looked into her expression again, and it was filled with grief.

“If… if we get… together, like professor Smith and his wife… I just… wanted to… ask…”

“That won’t happen. I’ll make sure that it will stay alive in you for 9 months. Whatever happens…  _I’m here._  And you, are going to be my first, and my last. That’s not going to change.” Levi felt her lean on his shoulder again, and then she’s sniffing. “Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”

“N—no… it’s just that… you… you make me happy…” Levi took hold of her hand, and clasped it in front of his chest.

“Good then.” He uttered. “Petra…  _From now on… I’ll make that happiness, last **forever.**_ And I’ll do anything to keep us together.  _Nothing_  will separate us. I assure you.”

After his statement, once again, Petra hugged him tightly, as tears streamed down from her face. She’s happy. She really  _is._  Even Levi is happy too. He knew he can protect her, he knew he can make up for the time that was lost in their past life…

_He knew they will be happy…_

_In my past life, she died a gruesome death, and I had not been there for her, and I did not show her how much she meant to me before she died. I was foolish to act coldly towards her…Those monsters we call titans, those monsters that ate humans mercilessly, I’ve seen them so many countless times, and their blood has been shed on my blades. I fought till the end, enduring the nightmarish reality that stole everything away from me. Blood has continued to shed, as my blades flail and strike against soft flesh. I killed more than thousands of them, just to preserve the human race, or rather, save them. I remember who I am in the past… I am the Lance Corporal Levi, the strongest soldier as humanity speaks. I am humanity’s strongest soldier, who shouldered all the pained cries of soldiers who died in the battlefield, for the sake of the next generation. I too, have died a death, as I ran out of blades, as my gas ran out, and I was going to be eaten by a titan. But right now, I am a normal University Student, who once lost everything within a single moment… I am a cold bastard who did not care about a single shit after that… I am also a smart ass who basically didn’t give a shit in his life. But that was until she reappeared in front of me again. She looks much more peaceful, and happier compared to the hell she’s been through in our past lives. This time, I will make sure that she won’t die recklessly. This time, I will make it to a point that she’ll live the happiest life in this period… Even if she knew what her past life was or not, I’ll still protect her, and I will make her happy, and I will love her… till my very last breath…_

Years passed by quickly, everyone finished their studies, and Levi is a renowned criminologist at a young age. Petra too, is a prodigy, but she still had to catch up. But still, they’re together. They’ve been together for two years now, and their own lives are doing well.

But this day, however, is the day the both of them have been waiting for.

 “Hey, Levi…” Petra called from outside the door. Levi simply turned to the door and was about to open it, but Petra impeded him from doing so. “Don’t open the door yet okay? I don’t want you to see me right now.” So, he respected her decision.

“I understand. What do you want to tell me?”

“After all this, we’ll be happy right?” She asked.

As Levi heard that statement, he simply smiled out of nowhere. “Of course. We will be happy.” Of course he was.

“Before we go through all this…” She stated audible enough for Levi to hear from the other side of the door. “…please promise me, that we’d never be set apart from each other. Wherever you go, I go come with you. I don’t want to be alone. Whatever happens… bring me with you.”

A smile formed from the corner of the dark haired man’s lips. “I will… rest assured. We’ll be together, forever.” Petra’s hand slipped through the opening of the door and the doorway, and her hand had a satin, white glove which searched for Levi’s hand. Levi simply took it in his own and held it tight. “Besides, we’re going to be together… forever.”

“Yes. I’ll be heading out now…” She lets go of his hand, the satin texture of the glove gently move away from the touch of his fingers. Of course… it’s time.

It’s the time that they’ll be united as one…

_If this form of rebirth was a second chance for the both of us to get back all those times lost, I’d be willing to take the opportunity to make it better. Besides…_

The bells ring, the choirs sang beautiful tunes. Levi waited in the altar after his entrance in the church. Without his parents aid, still, there’s the assistance of his family friends.

Eren stood as the best man, and Mikasa, his stepsister, the maid of honor. Well, that’s their choice. Erwin and wife stood as the principal witnesses, along with Jean, Armin, Annie and Sasha. As for the others, they are simply visitors. But having them here makes it better. It makes him happy.

*<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB8Ut0csD6M>  _Play this song… now. Just start it and let your imagination run wild.*_

White laces decorate the premises within the church, and people wore formal dresses and attires. And he waited for the girl in white to appear before him. As he stared into the distance, the doors of the church closed, giving a sudden moment of silence from the choir after the last word of the song. The piano suddenly plays again, and now, it is a sweeter tone.

 

The door finally opened, and Petra’s there, standing. Bouquet of white daises and roses in her hand, a head dress of the same flowers are on her too. She wore a simple wedding dress with a long red ribbon tied up like a rose. She looks perfect, Levi thought.

She walked up to the altar, people applauded, showing appreciation to the bride. Levi knew she was looking at him even if there was a long white veil covering her face.

_She’s the perfect bride…_  he solemnly thought while he looked at her. Of course, as she was almost there, Petra’s father gave Levi a pat at the back. “Take care of my daughter from now on.” He whispered. Levi simply nodded and his eyes immediately looked for Petra, excited to see her up close. He found her, and she was also looking at him, straight in the eyes. Levi took her hand and intertwined his finger with hers. “Starting from now on…  _we’ll never leave each other’s sides… ever.”_

Petra smiled again, hearing Levi’s soft whisper. She nodded, trying to hold back the tears of joy. “Of course. We’re going to be united as lovers and in front of many witnesses...  _How on earth can I even tell myself to leave you when I’ve fallen so deep for you already?”_  She asked as he intertwined them again. “ _We’re going to get married already…”_

“Yeah…” He said. “ _And our love is going to last forever…”_

 

_…she’s the only girl I have loved, and she’s the only girl for whom my heart would yearn for. Our second lives, I would do anything, to never let her go. And I would do it… no matter what it takes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahahaha I’m going to make one shots for now… since I want to finish my original stories so badly… ;A;  
> *laughing at the conversations within the university campus… xD* Why did I just fucking do that XD  
> (This just proves, that I still can’t get over these two T_T””” waiii)  
> Anyway, since I saw the 7th day of Rivetra week was reincarnation, heck yeah I knew this LONG one shot is good enough for this. Ahahahah… This is the only thing I can fucking contribute, so I am sorry. I wasn’t informed with that at all… xDDDD  
> Sorry for being a moment killer XD  
> I don’t know when I’ll be writing another one but, yeah, I will… xD ._.  
> Hahahah what have I been doing to my own life?! AHAHAHAH!!! XD
> 
> Well, next would be Erwin’s life in this AU, where you will be his… waifu XDDD MWAHAHAHAHAH XDDD  
> Waifu Waifu Waifu Waifu Waifu Waifu Waifu Waifu xD   
> (Erwin needs more reader inserts XDDD he needs more love XDDD I only saw several x reader inserts with Erwin… so I want to contribute to the Erwin fans fandom xD)  
> Okay Erwin fan girls, finally, I have something in store for you XD *jumps like a retard to the point this woman’s head hit the ceiling* It would be a bit long… like this one… don’t worry xD But that is after I finish Stand up and be strong for me! :D  
> (I’m a multishipper… okay?? ;w; I ship too many people with one character dammit XD)  
> I also wanted to add Isabel and Farlan too, but, the story line is going to be totally screwed up so I made it end this way instead >o


End file.
